Changing Roles
by Metajoker
Summary: What will happen if the seishis change roles? A humorous story that you should read!!!


Suzaku and Seiryuu were bored. Watching their seishis fight like some morons was just too serious for the two Gods.  
  
"Seiryuu, what do you think will happen if we change our seishis roles?" asked curious Suzaku.  
  
"Hhmmm..Not a bad idea...Besides Taiit-sikun isn't here..." Murmured Seiryuu as an evil plan formed in his mind. With a snap of his fingers..ermm...claws, the seishis roles were changed. Taiit-sikun wouldn't mind would she? It's just a harmless joke, besides she isn't even here..  
  
In Konan:  
  
Young Chiriko sighed. Why did his parents sent him to a martial arts school? He wasn't even an expert for Suzaku's sake!!! All he did was to read some books and play chess indoors and his mother started nagging at him for being lazy. What's so lazy about chess? Now he's stuck in this stupid $#@^&^%* school. Hey, he rarely used the word $#@^&^%* . Not bad..He should be using it more often.  
  
Tamahome:  
  
Tamahome was counting his gold coins in his special counting room in the palace. "One million and one, one million and two.." He was disturbed by the fast rapping of his officials on the door. "Come in!!!" Tamahome ordered. "Your highness, the Emperor of Kutou agreed to buy the one hundred musical boxes you tried selling a few days ago!!! He's paying 1000 gold bars in exchange for the musical boxes!!! He doesn't even know that those are fake!!!" announced one of his officials. Emperor Tamahome let out a shriek of happiness. "I'M RICH!!! RICH RICH RICH RICH RICH!!!" sang Tamahome. This is what all emperors should be doing, he thought. Getting rich!!!! He went back to counting his money. "Darn!!! I forgot where I was...Oh well, looks like I just have to start all over again. One, two..."  
  
Hotohori:  
  
"Twinkle, twinkle little star, how the beauty of a miko are, Are they fat, thin or ugly? But one thing is sure that I'm THE PRETTIEST!!!!" sang Hotohori. An empty bottle of sake went sailing in the air, through Hotohori's bedroom window and CRASH!!! It hit him right on the head. "WILL YOU SHUT UP SHITTYRELLA!!! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE IF YOU DON'T MIND!!! IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING, HELLOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed an enraged neighbour. Hotohori loved cross dressing and singing. Sure, nobody can surpass his beauty but as for his singing...Well, let's just say that a pig snorting sounds better..  
  
Nuriko:  
  
Nuriko loved travelling. He had been travelling alone ever since he was fourteen.  
  
Interlude:  
  
Author: BORING...LET'S SKIP NURIKO.  
  
Nuriko: NANI?! No way!!!  
  
So as I was saying, I, Nuriko love travelling. Travelling is exciting..  
  
Fans: BOO!!! GET THE LOSER OFF THE STAGE DUDE!!! (Security guard carries him off the stage.)  
  
Author: Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Let's continue with the story.  
  
Chichiri:  
  
Chichiri was the leader of the masked bandits. To be one of them, you have to wear a mask and keep saying 'no da' or 'na no da' at the end of your sentences. Are all the Chichiri's fans out there writing this down? Excellent!!! Welcome to the masked bandit group led by the one and only CHICHIRI!!! (All the girls faint.) "Hey, there is no need to faint no da. By the way, no da, thanks for becoming one of my bandits na no da," said cheerful Chichiri.  
  
Tasuki:  
  
Tasuki was getting bored. His father was explaining the uses of medicine but he wasn't listening. His entire family consisted of doctors. He had to be one too.  
  
Tasuki: What is this? The caste system in ancient INDIA??? *&^^$%#$%%*#^#@!!!!!  
  
Author: ahem* Sorry, vulgarities in this fanfic will be censored and not entertained. Once again, I humbly apologize for any inconvenience caused.  
  
Mitsukake:  
  
He was a scholar who shows interests in the subject medicine. Unfortunately, he is very stupid in the subject Maths. He is still trying to figure out what is one plus one...  
  
Suzaku and Seiryuu were laughing like mad looking at the behaviour of the Suzaku seishis. Suzaku snapped his fingers and the Suzaku seishis and Seiryuu seishis met....  
  
Seiryuu: This looks like fun...  
  
Suzaku: Can I have some more popcorn please? Seiryuu ate them all up before I had a chance to eat any of them. (whines)  
  
Seiryuu: (growls) I did not!!! You ate it all up you pig!!!  
  
Suzaku: Did not!!!!  
  
Seiryuu: Did too!!!  
  
Suzaku: Did not!!!!  
  
Seiryuu: Did too!!!  
  
Suzaku: Did not!!!!  
  
Seiryuu: Did too!!!  
  
Suzaku: @$^%^$^&$%#$#$^!!!!  
  
Seiryuu: You over grown chicken, fat pig, wind bag, stupid (opps, I forgot to censor Seiryuu's dialog!) $%%#^&$*!!!!!  
  
Author: SHUT UP!!! LET ME FINISH MY FANFIC, WILL YA?! GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO LIKE FUCKING (Oops, forgot to censor again) EACH OTHER OFF!!! NOW SCRAM!!! Ahem*...So, the Suzaku and the Seiryuu seishis met. What will happen? How will the outcome be? Something smells fishy...  
  
The Suzaku seishis found themselves facing the faces of their opponents. They got into their fighting poses.  
  
Hotohori: I, Hotohori, will defeat you and slay you with this..erm..broom!!!  
  
Chiriko: Yikes!!! I've yet to finish my training!!! Eek!!!  
  
Tamahome: One million and three, one million and four..Wait! Let me finish counting my money first!!! So where was I again? Drat!!! I have to start all over again!!! One, two ,three...  
  
Nuriko: As, I was trying to say just now...Hey, an audience!!! Great!!! Let me tell you about my adventures while travelling..Long, long, time ago, in the southern province of China, there live a traveler named Nuriko...  
  
Chichiri: Hi, there no da. All right bandits no da, ATTACK NA NO DA!!! Kill the Seiryuu seishis!!!  
  
Tasuki: All right, who wanna a taste of some really bitter medicine?  
  
Mitsukake: What is one plus one, do you know?  
  
Nakago: Hi........Do you like me? (blushes) Oh dear, I'm so shy in front of others...  
  
Soi: Hey, are you the famous Shittyrella? Can I have your autograph, pretty please with sugar on top?  
  
Miboshi: I like pretty pink flowers..and big sunny yellow sunflowers too....Oh, I don't like the brown thingy that comes out of my butt. It stinks. Tra la la la...  
  
Ashitare: Ahem* Excuse me, can I have some medicine please doctor Tasuki? Oh yes, please wrap it up for me please.I don't want to be dirty, it's not like a gentlemen to be dirty..  
  
Amiboshi: Oh, Nuriko-san is telling a story!!! Do you want to hear it Shun?  
  
Suboshi: Sure!!!! Cool!!! Man, Nuriko is much more beautiful than Yui- sama..  
  
Yui: SUBOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU @$^&#@$%*#@&&(*)&*^&##*%&@%!!#^*((^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Suboshi: Oops, said that too loud....  
  
Tomo: Counting money, heika-sama? Well then, what you need is a calculator!!! It can calculate up to a zillion! Amazing invention that will only cost you one hundred thousand dollars!!!  
  
Tamahome: That is so expensive!!! Can't I have a discount? I'm the emperor, you know...  
  
Tomo: A discount..How about one billion dollars? Last offer...  
  
Mitsukake: One billion dollars!!! Heika, you must buy it!!! One billion is so much more cheaper than one hundred thousand dollars!  
  
Tamahome: Really? I thought that one billion is much more expensive! But you're the scholar..Oh well, what the heck.I'll take it!!!  
  
Tomo: Nice deal made your highness!!!  
  
All of a sudden....  
  
BOOM! CRASH! TWANG! KABOOM!  
  
Author: What the.....  
  
Tamahome: All right!!! This show is over!!! How dare you, you imposter of me!!! (beats up the emperor Tamahome)  
  
The other Suzaku seishis and Seiryuu seishis follow suit...  
  
Fake Nakago: Eek!!! (faints)  
  
Real Nakago: I. Do. Not. Squeak. (blasts the imposter) BWA HA HA...  
  
After destroying all the imposters, all the seishis turn to the author of this ridiculous fanfic......  
  
Author: Help!!! HELP ME SOMEONE!!!  
  
Tasuki: You're gonna get it..LEKKA SHINEN!!!!  
  
Toasted Author: This is all Watase Yuu's fault..  
  
Watase Yuu: What ya mean? You wrote the fanfic, not me!!! I only created the characters!!!!  
  
Toasted Author of this pathetic fanfic: Ya, but YOU started all this FY nonsense..  
  
Watase Yuu: Hey, if I created these characters, I can control them right? All right boys..and girl, (almost forgot Soi) you can have this author...Remember, play nice..(smiles wickedly)  
  
(P.S. Fighting scene is censored as it contains too much violence. Once again, we apologize for any inconvenience caused.)  
  
Suboshi: Take that and that you #@^#&^%&^$&(!!!!! How dare you say someone else is much more beautiful that my Yui-sama!!!  
  
Watase Yuu: Ahem* I said no violence allowed here, Suboshi. But, you can take it outside..  
  
The Ending:  
  
Hotohori was playing chess. But he was playing it with the imposter Ashitare as he found this hairy gentleman quite pleasant. Soi was in her bedroom with..Nope, not Nakago but Shittyrella.  
  
Soi: So when do you think your Prince Charming is coming?  
  
Shittyrella: He,he,he..I'm not sure.But if he comes, I'll invite you to our wedding.Hey, that is such a sexy dress you're wearing!!! Can you lend it to me? I need it if I'm gonna find my prince...  
  
Soi: If you wear this, what am I suppose to wear?!  
  
Shittyrella: Well, you could be naked for Nakago and sing, If you like me naked, please stand up, please stand up..  
  
(Eew...Who paid him to sing in the first place? He sounds awful.....)  
  
Chichiri was stuck with traveler Nuriko..  
  
Chichiri: Help me no da!!! I'm going to die from boredom no da! Aaahhh...  
  
Nuriko: As I was saying, I traveled across the four lands in just one day.. (What a psycho.)  
  
Watase Yuu: Who wants to find out what happened to the ^$&%&#@@* author?  
  
Fans: ME! ME! ME! I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!  
  
Well, she kinda got stuck with the real Ashitare..  
  
Ashitare: Woof! Bark! Grrr.. (Translation: I need to pee.)  
  
Author chained to the wall: No, no no Ashitare..No, don't..  
  
Ashitare: Yap! Grrr.Bow wow... (Translation: Too late..Ha, ha..)  
  
Author: Why does this always happen to me?!  
  
Ashitare: Woof! Grrr..Bark! Bark! (Translation: I think I need to fart and shit too...)  
  
Author: GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! I'M NEVER WRITING ABOUT FY AGAIN!!!  
  
THE END 


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